Parenting 101

I am just full of ideas today. I guess this is one that has been rolling around for about thirty years now. As a child advocate, over and over I see parents who haven't the vaguest idea how to parent. We've all heard the "no owners manual" cliche in regards to kids but I wonder where society as a whole expects people to learn how to be good parents? I honestly can say that the vast majority of mothers and fathers out there have it wrong. I am not coming from an expert position by any means, I am making mistakes pretty daily, and I know that my name will come up in therapy in fifteen years...a lot. But the bullying, the disregard, the dismissal, the rejection, the spite I see tears my heart out. Yesterday, I saw a woman in a grocery store with two young girls in the cart with one of the girls in tears obviously from the blotchy red patches and the "hicking" breaths that she has been in tears for a while. Mom leans over and snaps "dry it up! dry it up now!" and adds a little pinch to the girl's arm for good measure. This of course brings renewed upset with feeble attempts to gain control. Feeble because the girl must be about four. Not exactly the optimum age for controlling one's emotions - in fact, it appears from the mother's actions that control is a bit of an inherent defect. Anyway, this woman who is walking with another woman talking about whatever inane subject they felt like discussing, gets in the girl's face again, and says again "dry....it....up...NOW!" and pinches her thigh. I, of course, being the trained professional step in and say "what's the likelihood of your calming down if I pinch your arm and thigh as hard as I can?" in what I consider to be the calmest voice I can muster at this time. The woman looks at me with all the hatred she has up until this moment reserved for her daughter, and eloquently hisses "step off bitch. this is none of your business." This is when I hand her my card and say "oh but this is where you are wrong, m'am. Child abuse is my business, and unless you would like for me to report you to one of my many friends at CPS you will take your daughter into your arms, hold her, tell her you are sorry you got frustrated and ask her if is she ok." We have a stare down. The other woman looks over her shoulder at the card and then at me. The daughter has SO stopped crying. The woman picks up her kid, hugs her and walks with her friend pushing the car shaped cart after her. Sigh.
We need training. All of us. From kindergarten to seniors in high school, age appropriate parenting classes should be a mandatory part of education. Kindergarteners can learn how to hold a baby, how to help care for a baby, how to entertain an infant, what not to do or give an infant. Elementary school kids can be given projects regarding care, medical needs and developmental needs. This should never be aimed just at the girls - both sexes need this instruction. High school kids can be taught about the financial and psychological needs of babies, toddlers, and kids. There is so much to know about when it comes to children. But too many of our kids do not have good examples from which they learn their parenting skills. So many are terribly abused psychologically, emotionally, physically, sexually and mentally. One thoughtless comment from a parent could very easily send a child down a desperate path.
There is no other alternative. Imagine the generation that grows with this sort of curriculum added to their educational plan. Can you? An entire generation with owners' manuals? How awesome would that be?