Understanding Boys….the saga continues

Cody came up to me yesterday while I was at the school selling popcorn (athletic department fundraiser). He said that two boys had been written up for wearing tight pants to school. They had been forced to change clothes.

Huh?

Hi Mrs. Hornsby – I look over and it’s a group of about six girls who are saying hi to me in order to attract Cody’s eye to them. They are all in wetsuit tight jeans.

Hmmm.

Boys, it turns out, cannot wear “excessively baggy pants”. They also cannot wear “excessively tight pants”. Girls, however, can wear either. Can you say “discrimination”?

Oh. I can.

I told Cody that he had my permission to wear tight pants to school the next day in protest. He was to call me the minute someone said anything and/or he was written up. He told me that just the threat of calling me would probably make them back off.

Huh. I can’t imagine why that is.

Ok. Maybe I can.

But seriously! What the heck? This is exactly what I am talking about! This sort of ridiculous and blatant persecution of one group of children. You can’t do this. You can’t say – oh, all redheads can wear whatever they want, but all brunettes have to wear a uniform. Because, well, redheads are better behaved. It is out and out discrimination and of course, I cannot have it.

So here’s the three minute speech I was supposed to deliver last night. Foiled in the lobby! I was told that last night’s meeting was a “closed workshop”, and no speakers were allowed. I was also told that I can return on February 27^th to talk to the elusive board, oh, and believe me! They will not get rid of me that quickly! Moihahahaha!

Anyway, here it is:

The vast majority of boys are struggling and suffering in our society. They are often misunderstood, isolated and stereotyped. From the time they enter elementary school boys are inundated with the message that who they are, what is innately “boy” behavior is bad. The way they think creatively (blood guts and death) is wrong, the things they find funny (bodily functions and bathroom humor) are stupid and gross. When I am informed by a principal at an elementary school that “boys can not longer be boys anymore. They have to sit and learn this stuff”, I know that there is something wrong. When we are fighting the very nature of a person, in this case a boy’s inherent “maleness”, it is not the child that needs correction; it is the attitude of the adults. Boys are, by nature, active and physical. Yet our schools expect them to be different. In essence, we are telling lions to fly like birds. No matter how hard they try, no matter what they do, they will never, ever be birds. All this creates is frustrated, resentful, self doubting lions. Boys have emotions. They have emotional lives. In fact, it has been proven that they are more emotional than girls. But they disguise these lives in ways that frustrate us and force us to see “attitude” or “disruptive behavior”. Recently, on PBS, I watched “Raising Cain” from the book of the same name. It is a two-hour documentary about the physical, spiritual and emotional development of boys, and how they are in crisis in our country. I would like to make a plea to our board to have this documentary shown to every staff member in every school in our district. I think a link should exist on the FBISD home page to the comprehensive guide labeled “understanding boys” and the ideas in the section dealing with boys in our schools should be implemented. I believe that every parent in the district should be made aware of this book and film, perhaps even offering to show the film on campuses throughout the district with some kind of discussion afterwards. Why? Because our boys are desperate for positive reinforcement, validation and acceptance but don’t know how to get it. They are caught between being in dire need of nurturing and the intrinsic need of attaining manhood. It breaks my heart to see so many boys absolutely convinced that who they are is not ok. We are the adults, it is up to us to make things different for these boys. I am not here to say “do something about this”. I am here to say that I ready to volunteer. What do I need to do to make this happen? Get signatures on a petition, I can do that. Write letters? hand out flyers, I can do that. Buy and copy the video, I can do that. Tell me what I need to do, and I will do it. I am ready to be part of the solution.

I'm still waiting on the call from the school.