An Example of Stream of Consciousness Writing

It is not that surprising since it has been the tactic for the past six years or so, but I still find it so exceedingly distasteful. When someone disagrees with you, it is one thing to engage in debate, which accredits both sides as being worthy opponents. However, it appears that the standard operting procedure in regards to dissent is a full frontal assault. Those who don’t agree with the ports who just happen to be in the minority as far as power is concerned can’t possibly be concerned about security because the repub neocons have the market on that, thank you very much. Sorry! We called it! Like a “shotgun” kind of deal.
Instead, the dems are either a) taking every opportunity to assail the president or b) are anti-Arab. If a republican is against this whole port thing, they simply don’t have the facts and must do what all good republicans do – fold their arms in front of them, close their eyes and fall backwards. Don’t worry! You can trust us!
What it seems is being missed is the number one problem. This is a country that sells out to the highest bidder. There have been court cases basically accusing this country’s government of trying to be all things to all people. I don’t have it in front of me, but what basically happened was during an undercover operation where the covert guy goes and says he wants to get arms into Iran, the contact person essentially says don’t worry, we have connections everywhere, we can get anything you want anywhere you want. I don’t care if you are from Ireland. Canada. Istanbul. Or Montana. You have that sort of mentality, you need to be scrutinized.
It’s not an Arab thing.
It’s not an Islamic thing.
It’s a corporate no conscience thing.
You cannot claim security as a partisan issue. That’s like saying children are a partisan issue. We all care about our kids. We all care about being safe.
This ridiculous slap and dash style of counter opposition is getting on my last nerve.
What I see is a president that wants to do things his way, rules be damned. Normally this sort of thing appeals to me. I believe in individualism. I believe in rebels, most of the time. What I do not believe in is people who have a crapload of power who believe they are above the law.
Going into a country on a pre-emptive strike is against the law.
Torturing people, cutting a man’s penis with razor blades, is against the law (no matter what you label him).
Taking people that have done nothing to countries where torture is legal is morally wrong.
Spying on American citizens is illegal.
Bypassing checks and balances is very, very scary.
Bypassing procedures because they hinder you getting what you want is infantile.
I don’t understand how anyone can keep from bursting into guffawing gales of uncontrollable laughter when Chris Matthews equates bush with Atticus Finch, the guy that defended the African American guy in To Kill A Mockingbird.
Oh, Chrissy!
Crazy, crazy Matty!
That would be Boo.
Boo Radley that you’re thinking of.
But actually Boo was a harmless guy that was a little shadowy.
Bush is far from harmless but he is very, very shadowy.
I find the thought of bush laying a wreath at the Mahatma Gandhi memorial not just a smidge hypocritical.

In the meeting last night, one board member said that she went to Washington for some conference. I didn’t pay much attention initially, but she started talking about how sick to death she was with people who claim to put kids and their education first, but all of their actions scream the opposite. She said that bush’s budget was indicative of this. It cuts education across the board, except for testing. Because as we all know, the “no child left behind” program has been such an incredible success that we need to expand it. You cannot begin to grasp what kind of pressure these kids are under. The rating of the school and therefore the funding, as well as the jobs of administrators and teachers falls squarely on the backs of these children. From third grade through graduation. Third graders. What is that – an eight year old? From eight to eighteen, these kids have to struggle not only under the burden of whether the schools gets a positive rating, cash is allocated to the school and teachers continue to teach for another year, they also have to pass their own freaking classes as well as think about their future.
What the heck is this all about?
They take practice DAKS (district testing), then the DAKS, practice TEKS (state testing), then the TEKS, IOWA testing, as well as quizzes, tests, exams and finals for their classes. Then in high school, let’s just tack on the flippin’ SAT. The pressure is unbelievable. And they expect these kids to act like robots when they are shoveling all this crap into every available opening. It’s outrageous. I have to admit, I agree with the board member. She is so fed up, she’s one of the ones quitting.
And that is a problem. Over and over, we are seeing the best people, the people that care the most, the ones that put their heart and soul into their work, leaving in disgust. Leaving because the wrong thing is being done. There was little to no acknowledgement of her announcement at the meeting by the other board members, she might as well have sneezed, she would have at the very least gotten a “bless you”.
Here’s another one that gets me. Somehow, the neocons, repubs have not only “called” national security, they have also decided that they own the exclusive rights on morality. Isn’t that weird? In a climate of corruption where every time you open a newspaper – cyber or real- every magazine and every news outlet has yet another story about someone in the ruling party being busted for doing something so objectionable it makes you a little more nauseated. Yet, they are the ones that have the corner market on ethics and family values. That’s that “picture” being sold again. That Norman Rockwell painting. That innocent Americana we all want to believe exists. The thing is, how moral is it to point at the poor and scream “lazy!”? How moral is it to stand on a pedestal and judge those who haven’t done as well, for whatever reason? Where is it written that it is some kind of value to equate dark skin and different belief systems with all the adversity in the world? It seems to me that if you have ever experienced addiction or poverty or the cycle of abuse or any of the other societal conditions that exist, you would have so much more empathy for those caught in it. But it seems to be the opposite. I know people who have been consumed by addiction, who fortunately had family and friends that got together and helped them to get better, and the former addicts turn into the biggest critics of those unable to get off that path. I find that amazing. I have been there. I fortunately had family and friends that helped me. And my feeling is, what if I didn’t have that family? What if I didn’t have those friends? What then? Where would I be? I count myself blessed that I have family and friends that stick with me. I have an enormous amount of compassion for those that don’t have such a luxury.
It is not weak to experience emotions – especially the kinder kind like empathy, compassion, caring. Denying the existence of what is real does not make you strong or powerful, it makes you delusional and not just a little dangerous.
My boys are allowed to experience their feelings. If they are sad, mad, hurt, happy, whatever, they experience their emotions. Has societal pressure and peer judgment given them the guidelines in regards to where and when expressing those emotions is acceptable? You betcha. Does allowing my son to sob his heart out in the privacy of our home make him weak…somehow incapacitating him in his journey to manhood? Oh no. My eldest has always been very sensitive. They both have actually, but for example’s sake we’ll focus on Josh. He gets his feelings hurt pretty easily, he used to cry a lot but not so much anymore. But he still does. Is he somehow less than a man?

We were at the dog park and a German Shepard got over excited and started snapping at our Yorkie. Josh jumped in and scooped up our yorkie. German Shepard started jumping up snapping at Josh’s face and at Baxter in Josh’s arms. Josh continuously positioned himself to be in between the attacking dog and Baxter. He was bitten on the arm several times (oh, I was screaming hysterically the whole time. Didn’t want you to think that I was somehow not being effective in this horror show.) but he never ever stopped protecting Baxter. That’s a real man. At age 14, he stepped up and put himself in harm’s way for another being totally dependent on him. Regardless of injury to himself. Being allowed to be a whole person – a complete being – acknowledging the many facets of ourselves that make us the unique individuals that we are is the only way to break away from stereotypes and to see people as more than one dimensional.

Recently I saw a question that I found to be fascinating. Who had the most to gain from the bombing of the Golden Dome Mosque?
There is also the nauseating revelation lately that Halliburton is going to get a huge payoff on the disputed overcharges and misallocations.
72% of the troops want to see troops sent home this year.
Shutting off the tap of financial support to Palestine is sending a terrible message. Why is my opposing the whole port deal Anti-Arab, but the admin’s office of shutting off aid to a Muslim nation considered sound policy? This is how we reward democracy? We only support democracy if you vote in the people we want you to have? Does that make any sense? It’s kind of like the Hugo deal. He thumbs his nose at us at every opportunity, making him an enemy of the state. But he too was democratically elected. I find it refreshing that Russia can go in when all the alarms are being pulled in regards to Iran, and work out a deal to avoid a catastrophe. Not much has been reported on this because it lacks the news stories key ingredients – controversy and sex. It’s simply not packed full of drama - this crazy working out solutions like grownups – it’s actually a bit boring (yawn). Much more juicy to come up with a bunch of maybe legitimate reasons to go in there and k some a! It’s good to know that there are still some that believe things can be worked out through diplomacy.

And finally, when you have a terminal illness in the family it is a huge asset to have not only people in your family trained in medicine but who are acutely aware of symptoms and reasons for those symptoms. My mom, one of the best nurse in, yes, in history, put together that my brother’s anniversary was Thursday, the day that he got really bad. She thought it had to do with stress. Then his daughter went off to Washington for a school trip, and sure enough, he had a very adverse reaction.
One of the hardest things has been the not knowing.
Not knowing what to do.
Not knowing if you should venture any distance from your home in case the call comes.
Not knowing if you don’t act, if you will regret that inaction.
I guess that’s why fortune tellers, psychics, and other such readers of the future are so popular. It’s difficult walking through this landmine laden area know as life without any indication as to what the next step will bring.

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