Buddy Musings
I find it of the utmost hypocrisy to continuously state that Hezbollah is being sent arms by Iran and is supported by Syria, all the while sending arms to Israel. What is the point of that? Do we not expect those that support each other to….support each other? Is this some revelation that is supposed to knock us back in disbelief with our hand plastered to our forehead, whispering – “no! no! it can’t beeeee!” Of course they are supplying Hezbollah. I’m sure there are others, who just happen to be our allies, that are supporting them as well. But their affiliation remains in the shadows because we don’t want to complicate matters.
Vaca Musings
The ceasefire agreement taking baby steps is beyond comprehension. Why are the leaders of the US and England taking vacations? They couldn’t postpone this downtime in order to focus on stopping the violence? Last time there was an August vacation taken by all of Washington, it was Katrina. This is a full blown, people dying every minute crisis. Can we, perhaps perchance, cancel the vacation plans to show our dedication to ending this mess? Just an idea.
Teen Sex Musings
Recently I read a story about how kids who are listening to sexually suggestive music are becoming more sexually active earlier than those that don’t.
It seems to me that once again the issue is being boiled down to a streamlined, easy to title blurb. There is so much more to this. A) kids don’t have sex because of songs. They have sex because their hormones are raging. B) kids are having sex because we have become a country that once again has decided that less is more in terms of educating our kids. Don’t tell them about it and they won’t know. Turns out that is so much more true than anyone realizes. Don’t talk about birth control and yup they won’t know. Don’t tell them about sex and they won’t know, but they will find out! C) When you make kids 10, 11, 12 – kids that haven’t hit puberty take some bogus virginity pledge it really is the worst kind of guilt trip. For one thing you are manipulating a kid that wants to please into promising something that they are not prepared to promise. You slap some golden ring on them and suddenly it’s like some kind of bizarre marriage – your little pre-pubescent girl to her Lord and Savior. It’s truly bizarre. I have found that these little girls that grow into gorgeous, poodle shirt and micro-mini skirt wearing babes that end up being again manipulated by the boys of whom they desire attention. Unprepared, uninformed, these little naïve dears are like so many Bambi gently walking up to the deer corn generously scattered on the open meadow. And then BAM! The gunfire explodes and they are sent into a panic.
Our kids are not given real information. Believe me. I know. Fortunately, I have been able to see what goes on and what these guys learn in health class is a joke. They tell you the fastest way to get high is through injection but God forbid you mention a condom! Then you lose your funding. I had to write a letter saying why I refused to allow my boys to sign a “virginity” pledge – that my sons had to turn in for a grade – as I believed that was something between them and God.
For a grade!
Can you believe it?
Pledge to be a virgin until you marry and get an A!
What an incentive to stay pure!
A minor grade in 7th grade health class.
It’s truly horrifying.
Mainly because most of these kids do not get any information from the most important sources – their parents. They get it from friends (the same kind of friends that told me that all the fat on my body would go to my boobs when I turned sixteen – still waiting.), they get it from (gulp) the internet, they get it from movies and magazines. I have been talking to my kids about sex since they first starting asking – my youngest was 2 ½. As hard as it was to start, it gets easier as you go. And the fact that at 13 and 14 they are still coming to me and telling me or asking me things is a huge relief. I have heard stories from both of them and I am so grateful that I was able to jump that hurdle of embarrassment and nervousness and focus on what they need to know.
They need to know that every single solitary time that they have anything that can even be considered sex, that they need a condom.
They need to know that every time that they have intercourse they better be prepared to be a dad, because you never know.
They need to know that.
They need to know truth, not scare tactics or exaggerations.
They need to be leveled with, not preached to.
It’s hard because the knee jerk reaction of a parent is to shoot the flares and drag out the chastity belt. Like when they run into the street or reach for the stove. The gut reaction is protection by any means necessary. But to be a truly effective parent one has to take a beat or two and push back the fight or flight rush of adrenaline. AIDS! Gonorrhea! Syphilis! Herpes! Pregnancy! Run! Run for your life! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!
And it’s true all that stuff can happen, but the real risk is, your kid will have sex and hold his/her breath expecting one of the hundreds of horrible things to happen. And when none of those things happen, you have lost all credibility. Add this to the long list of exaggerations and falsehoods you have bestowed upon your child – Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc – and you are done. Your kid will look at you as someone who cannot be trusted. You might have his/her best interests at heart but you are too close for solid judgment and practical advice. On to the next in line (cringe) the friends.
So movies, comedy series, MTV, VH1, HBO, Will Farrell, Pamela Anderson, Lindsay Lohan, video games, Blink 182..none of these things will have your kid out there looking to have sex. They are already looking if they are over a certain age. What focuses the search is whether you have talked openly and often from a very young age about everything that is involved with two human beings in an intimate tryst.
Stop blaming pop culture and start taking responsibility for the little lives you created.
I find it of the utmost hypocrisy to continuously state that Hezbollah is being sent arms by Iran and is supported by Syria, all the while sending arms to Israel. What is the point of that? Do we not expect those that support each other to….support each other? Is this some revelation that is supposed to knock us back in disbelief with our hand plastered to our forehead, whispering – “no! no! it can’t beeeee!” Of course they are supplying Hezbollah. I’m sure there are others, who just happen to be our allies, that are supporting them as well. But their affiliation remains in the shadows because we don’t want to complicate matters.
Vaca Musings
The ceasefire agreement taking baby steps is beyond comprehension. Why are the leaders of the US and England taking vacations? They couldn’t postpone this downtime in order to focus on stopping the violence? Last time there was an August vacation taken by all of Washington, it was Katrina. This is a full blown, people dying every minute crisis. Can we, perhaps perchance, cancel the vacation plans to show our dedication to ending this mess? Just an idea.
Teen Sex Musings
Recently I read a story about how kids who are listening to sexually suggestive music are becoming more sexually active earlier than those that don’t.
It seems to me that once again the issue is being boiled down to a streamlined, easy to title blurb. There is so much more to this. A) kids don’t have sex because of songs. They have sex because their hormones are raging. B) kids are having sex because we have become a country that once again has decided that less is more in terms of educating our kids. Don’t tell them about it and they won’t know. Turns out that is so much more true than anyone realizes. Don’t talk about birth control and yup they won’t know. Don’t tell them about sex and they won’t know, but they will find out! C) When you make kids 10, 11, 12 – kids that haven’t hit puberty take some bogus virginity pledge it really is the worst kind of guilt trip. For one thing you are manipulating a kid that wants to please into promising something that they are not prepared to promise. You slap some golden ring on them and suddenly it’s like some kind of bizarre marriage – your little pre-pubescent girl to her Lord and Savior. It’s truly bizarre. I have found that these little girls that grow into gorgeous, poodle shirt and micro-mini skirt wearing babes that end up being again manipulated by the boys of whom they desire attention. Unprepared, uninformed, these little naïve dears are like so many Bambi gently walking up to the deer corn generously scattered on the open meadow. And then BAM! The gunfire explodes and they are sent into a panic.
Our kids are not given real information. Believe me. I know. Fortunately, I have been able to see what goes on and what these guys learn in health class is a joke. They tell you the fastest way to get high is through injection but God forbid you mention a condom! Then you lose your funding. I had to write a letter saying why I refused to allow my boys to sign a “virginity” pledge – that my sons had to turn in for a grade – as I believed that was something between them and God.
For a grade!
Can you believe it?
Pledge to be a virgin until you marry and get an A!
What an incentive to stay pure!
A minor grade in 7th grade health class.
It’s truly horrifying.
Mainly because most of these kids do not get any information from the most important sources – their parents. They get it from friends (the same kind of friends that told me that all the fat on my body would go to my boobs when I turned sixteen – still waiting.), they get it from (gulp) the internet, they get it from movies and magazines. I have been talking to my kids about sex since they first starting asking – my youngest was 2 ½. As hard as it was to start, it gets easier as you go. And the fact that at 13 and 14 they are still coming to me and telling me or asking me things is a huge relief. I have heard stories from both of them and I am so grateful that I was able to jump that hurdle of embarrassment and nervousness and focus on what they need to know.
They need to know that every single solitary time that they have anything that can even be considered sex, that they need a condom.
They need to know that every time that they have intercourse they better be prepared to be a dad, because you never know.
They need to know that.
They need to know truth, not scare tactics or exaggerations.
They need to be leveled with, not preached to.
It’s hard because the knee jerk reaction of a parent is to shoot the flares and drag out the chastity belt. Like when they run into the street or reach for the stove. The gut reaction is protection by any means necessary. But to be a truly effective parent one has to take a beat or two and push back the fight or flight rush of adrenaline. AIDS! Gonorrhea! Syphilis! Herpes! Pregnancy! Run! Run for your life! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!
And it’s true all that stuff can happen, but the real risk is, your kid will have sex and hold his/her breath expecting one of the hundreds of horrible things to happen. And when none of those things happen, you have lost all credibility. Add this to the long list of exaggerations and falsehoods you have bestowed upon your child – Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc – and you are done. Your kid will look at you as someone who cannot be trusted. You might have his/her best interests at heart but you are too close for solid judgment and practical advice. On to the next in line (cringe) the friends.
So movies, comedy series, MTV, VH1, HBO, Will Farrell, Pamela Anderson, Lindsay Lohan, video games, Blink 182..none of these things will have your kid out there looking to have sex. They are already looking if they are over a certain age. What focuses the search is whether you have talked openly and often from a very young age about everything that is involved with two human beings in an intimate tryst.
Stop blaming pop culture and start taking responsibility for the little lives you created.
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