What a RELIEF!
I finally heard back from my most excellent lawyer in regards to the X going to court, without informing me or my lawyer, and getting child support for his two teenage sons reduced from $1200 a month to $352.
1200.
Does that seem high? Take into account that this man paid that for less than one year. We have been divorced/separated for twelve years and he has never, ever paid more than 450/month for both boys. When I was living on the edge, staring over the abyss, going without meals, so stressed that I actually contemplated giving up custody because financially I could not hack it and I had to think of the boys, he was making a crap load of money and dragging me through the court system trying to take them from me. He had always said that he was not cut out to care for children, and he has proven that as an invariable fact regardless of the age of the boys. But his mission has always been to punish me. He is a control freak that will never let go of the reality that I left him.
Anyway, he went to court and got the judge to lower the amount. He does not reimburse for medical expense or insurance which he is mandated to do and we are currently carrying over a thousand dollars in charges that he is supposed to pay within ten days of receipt. Some charges go back to November. He has a rental property. He is opening a restaurant. He has remarried and that poor sod has been working and paying for him for over a year. She also gets child support for her daughter. And he screams poverty.
The court date is set for May 15th. I just want it to be fair. Fair to the boys. Fair to my husband who has carried the burden that the X refuses to shoulder for all these years. I just want it on record that he's a creep. A legal, court record. That would be soooo satisfying. We'll see how it all turns out, but just having the date is a huge relief.
I finally heard back from my most excellent lawyer in regards to the X going to court, without informing me or my lawyer, and getting child support for his two teenage sons reduced from $1200 a month to $352.
1200.
Does that seem high? Take into account that this man paid that for less than one year. We have been divorced/separated for twelve years and he has never, ever paid more than 450/month for both boys. When I was living on the edge, staring over the abyss, going without meals, so stressed that I actually contemplated giving up custody because financially I could not hack it and I had to think of the boys, he was making a crap load of money and dragging me through the court system trying to take them from me. He had always said that he was not cut out to care for children, and he has proven that as an invariable fact regardless of the age of the boys. But his mission has always been to punish me. He is a control freak that will never let go of the reality that I left him.
Anyway, he went to court and got the judge to lower the amount. He does not reimburse for medical expense or insurance which he is mandated to do and we are currently carrying over a thousand dollars in charges that he is supposed to pay within ten days of receipt. Some charges go back to November. He has a rental property. He is opening a restaurant. He has remarried and that poor sod has been working and paying for him for over a year. She also gets child support for her daughter. And he screams poverty.
The court date is set for May 15th. I just want it to be fair. Fair to the boys. Fair to my husband who has carried the burden that the X refuses to shoulder for all these years. I just want it on record that he's a creep. A legal, court record. That would be soooo satisfying. We'll see how it all turns out, but just having the date is a huge relief.
Comments
A parent who is paying into the child support system should be able to have an option to take care of basic needs directly.
Here are some suggestions to not only help the mother in raising and caring for the children or child but also it gives the non custodial parent a chance to be involved in the child’s or children well being and welfare.
At the present there are gift cards A father or parent should be able to use an electronic card for food and send it to the mother and it will be deducted from whatever payments are made into the system.
This can also be used for clothing.
Part of the payment should also be paid to the utility companies, a portion can go toward lights gas water, rent etc… Utilizing a check or money order with a receipt.
Daycare if a parent agrees that the child should go to Day care then this should be a shared responsibility.
Entertainment: Both parents should share entertainment.
Visitation
A child should not be used as some kind of revenge tool, each parent should be adult enough to agree on times and days that their children should spend.
There is No excuse except for abuse that a parent should not be allowed to spend time with their child or children.
This are just suggestions that can be tweaked and probed into more deeply. This is such an emotional issue. If possible please refrain form how no good He or She is, the purpose here is to not only to try to get a better understanding but work out agreements.
Maybe this will get our politicians to stop using child support as a political tool and really start helping families be families no matter the circumstance.
Now may be once a year or ever six months the father sends the receipts to the court to see if the father is meeting their duty. If not then the father or non-custodial parent has to pay into the old system.
Visitation is explicitly explained in bold type in ALL custody orders - there is no connection between child support and visitation. I have always encouraged a strong relationship between my sons and their dad. Unfortunately, he has managed to destroy any real connection the boys have with him, and no amount of explanation or mediation on my part will change that.
I don't believe that an analysis of the extremes is going to get us anywhere. Parents who pay nothing or who pay to the point of bankrupcy - these are not the majority of people. But I do believe that most custodial parents are not getting nearly what they need to support the children properly. That is why 85% of all custodial parents live in a lower economic bracket than their non-custodial counterparts.