Black. White. The final show.
Well. I don’t even know where to start. I am so disappointed in Bruno (white dad). I really thought he would have an epiphany but he stayed as stubborn and self-righteous to the end. At one point during the adult group session the therapist asks Brian (black dad) which is the accurate portrayal of how he feels: agree to disagree with Bruno or he wants him to get the experience, since he had said both. I felt surprisingly emotional at that whole exchange.

And I realize why.

Bruno to me is the embodiment of almost every white person I know. It’s a refusal to understand that you are your past, you don’t pass through stages of existence in this life, you drag it all with you. I did not walk into adulthood without a whole lot of baggage and a physical being full of what I had been taught and had experienced from birth. Who does? Who is not influenced by the experiences of life? People in a state of denial, that’s who. How ridiculous would it be to go through the birth of a child and when asked, the parent looks around all bewildered and says “Gosh, no. Life changing experience? Golly..a child being born? No. Not really. Hadn’t really thought about it, to be honest. Doesn’t that happen everyday? What’s the big deal?” Of course, the birth of a child is monumentally important life experience! Of course, it is going to affect you! We have all these mile markers – when we can sit up by ourselves, walk, talk, first day of school, graduate, get married. Why? Because these are just a few of the life experiences that affect us because as much as people like to pretend the opposite, we are emotional beings. To deny that things don’t affect us does not mean that they don’t. It just means that you will not accept that they do. It’s almost like we expect people to not be a product of their environment and their history. Bruno has never experienced racism. To say that he has would be as meaningless as him saying that he had experienced sexism. A man cannot comprehend being treated differently as a woman. He can empathize. He can attempt to garner as much of that experience from others as he can, but there is a limit. Bruno has the attitude of “I don’t experience, it doesn’t exist. I don’t see it. It’s you and your attitude.” It makes my stomach ball up into a knot, because I have run into this brick wall repeatedly. Even people who appear enlightened will come out of left field and it’s so unbelievably disappointing. What other attitude is Bryan supposed to have? When you go through your life from birth being treated a certain way – sometimes overtly, other times covertly – you get conditioned. You would be stupid not to be. It’s what we do as humans. If you keep running down a hill, down the same line and halfway through you stumble and fall because there’s a gaping hole there, what do you do? Do you learn from your experience and sidestep maybe a yard or so for good measure or do you continue to run that line thinking that something will change?
I have seen it.
I have heard it.
Don’t tell me it doesn’t exist because it does.
It does.
No matter how much you ignore it, it is there.
Pretending it doesn’t makes you the person that denies reality. Do you want to deny reality? You can’t change something you don’t accept is there. It’s like a drug addict that refuses to admit that she has a problem. Nothing can be done. Not until she accepts reality.

Racism exists.
It’s not a card.
It’s not fantasy.
It's not a figment of anyone's imagination.
It’s only people who sit on top and refuse to look down that can say that it is apparition.
It was weird. At the end of the segment they are all packed and they do this group hug. Everyone is together in a circle, tight, intertwined and embraced. And there’s Bruno, on the outside with his arms around everyone but somehow just not…. a part of it, if that makes any sense. Everyone seemed to get something – Nick (black son) finally engaged, Carmen (white mom) and Renee (black mom) seemed to find common ground, and Rose (white daughter) seemed to just go deeper than anyone else, Brian seemed to gather that his son needed serious attention and that you just have to keep on keepin' on trying to open one mind at a time – but Bruno stood there rigidly stating over and over “I don’t see it. I don’t get it.” (figuratively), still flippantly without conscious thought making stupid oneliners ("That sh*t don't fly!" In an exaggerated black intonation. Cringe.

Recognizing that we are all different – not only in regards to race but within the races, we all come to adulthood with a history of ourselves and our family and our forefathers. No amount of dismissing or denial will erase that. The sooner we can accept that each of us is so incredibly unique and amazing, the sooner we can see the absolutely phenomenal nature of God in his ability to keep things interesting. My two sons might have experienced much of the same stuff growing up. Does that make them the same? They couldn’t be any more different. And that’s within one family! Now apply that to the billions of people on this earth and you begin to see it. People experience things differently even if they experience it collectively.

Great show. Hope they have another one coming really soon.