Black. White. Episode 3

We record the show as it has become an invaluable tool in family discussion. I am absolutely transfixed by Bruno, the white male/husband/father. He reminds me of a lot of white men. He has this attitude of “it’s all about how you carry yourself. It’s all about respect and confidence.”
Sigh.
The two white parents go into a bastion of African American culture in Los Angeles with Deanne, a friend that Carmen made while she was “black”. She “came out” to her, as she needed a guide through the culture. Anyway, Deanne is walking and talking about the different things that the business owners are enduring in the area – i.e. the city refuses to prune a tree on city property that is blocking the business signage of an African American store. The lease prices have skyrocketed in an effort by the owners of the buildings (white) to change the cultural makeup (currently black) to something else.
Then Bruno, in his “black” makeup, Deanne (as herself) and Carmen (not in makeup – a white woman) walk into the park which Deanne says is the center, the “heartbeat” of the area. There are merchants selling different things, a drum circle, and a lot of people milling about. There is instantly hostility towards Bruno for bringing in this white woman – this “sellout” as Deanne says. Bruno immediately describes them as self-pitying and angry people and he felt their aversion to him being there. Carmen couldn’t seem to grasp that she as a woman who had been raised by “very liberal” parents that she couldn’t move into this area freely. She was judged by her skin color.
I said, when watching with both my boys in the room, “It’s kind of like just wandering into someone’s house and being surprised that you aren’t welcome.”
Josh immediately said, “It’s more like going into someone’s house that you have just tried to evict and expecting to be welcome.”
Wow. He nailed it.
Here is this area of African American culture, and it has literally become a battleground. They want to be able to have their area and they are being forced out. And Carmen didn’t really catch on to that for quite some time.
Bruno didn’t get it at all.
And there’s the problem.
At one point Carmen does a really good job of trying to get Bruno to understand by citing an example that he had used. He was “the best player on the team”, I think, as a senior in high school. Four black players on his team decided they weren’t going to pass to him. He relays that it did bother him, it did hurt his feelings but he got on with his life.
It was significant enough for him to remember though.
Carmen asks - what if that happened every day? What if that happened at every job interview – you weren’t even given the time of day? Don’t you think you would harbor some resentment?
It was a good example.
I have to say, Bruno is a racist. He is the epitome of a guy who thinks he knows but doesn’t have a clue.
Deanne had walked them through this neighborhood expressing all the plights and turmoil that existed and I guarantee you, Bruno was dismissing it, justifying it (is the rent supposed to stay the same because you’re black? Get up there and prune the tree yourself!) and not realizing the depth.
If you get slapped across the face once, you can dismiss that eventually. It stings, it shocks but eventually you get over it.
If you get slapped repeatedly across the face over and over and over and over again, you do not get over it. As a matter of fact, you start jerking your head back . You get conditioned to expect a slap. And when you get slapped repeatedly by members of a particular race, it doesn’t matter how nice the next person that comes along who is a member of that race – you will be defensive or even offensive due to the conditioning you have experienced.
The thing is, it’s like a man saying he knows what nine months of pregnancy and labor pains are like. It’s not only completely ridiculous and impossible, it’s insulting to those of us who actually do know what it’s like. You can have all the empathy and compassion in the world, but it is something you can never experience and will never know what it’s like. Bruno and Carmen could take the color off, so the experiment for all its good intentions and ideas is imperfect because inevitably you know that your “black” experience is temporary.
I am hoping to see a flashpoint realization from Bruno.

He was able to identify the racism from black people, primarily men, can he identify it in himself?