Musings of a Liberal Texan

An Example of Stream of Consciousness Writing It is not that surprising since it has been the tactic for the past six years or so, but I still find it so exceedingly distasteful. When someone disagrees with you, it is one thing to engage in debate, which accredits both sides as being worthy opponents. However, it appears that the standard operting procedure in regards to dissent is a full frontal assault. Those who don’t agree with the ports who just happen to be in the minority as far as power is concerned can’t possibly be concerned about security because the repub neocons have the market on that, thank you very much. Sorry! We called it! Like a “shotgun” kind of deal. Instead, the dems are either a) taking every opportunity to assail the president or b) are anti-Arab. If a republican is against this whole port thing, they simply don’t have the facts and must do what all good republicans do – fold their arms in front of them, close their eyes and fall backwards. Don’t worry! You can ...

School Board So I went before the board last night. There was a flurry of activity including two board members stating hostility being the reason to not run for re-election. It was a packed house. Loads of re-zoning issues and budget cutting problems. One eight year old boy got up and spoke for about a minute and a half. He wants his bus back. He walks in the rain. His books get wet. He gets in trouble. He walks past shootings and stabbings. Give him his bus for crying out loud. He was the only one to get applause. At that point. Several more speakers. It's now nine o'clock. I have been waiting now for 2 and a half hours. I don't get more calm with waiting. They call my name. Besides the vibrating in my right leg that made me sound like I was about to burst into tears, I did manage to pull myself together halfway through and finish strong. I had everyone's attention. Applause broke out the moment I finished and continued as I strode out the door. I got two thumbs up fr...

Heavy Heart I understand that expression today. It’s easy to say about flippant things, non-crucial things. But to have a heavy heart, a truly heavy heart, well, I get that. Thursday night I got a call from my mom, she was on her way to my brother’s house. Instantly the ice water slap shocked my being. Mom doesn’t drive at night. She had received more news on Paul. My immediate reaction. No. No I can’t go. I can’t go and watch my brother slowly suffocate. I cannot go and watch my spiritual mentor gasping for breath. I am right with him. I am not ready. I cannot. The physical and emotional rush that comes from news like this is hard to explain. Uncontrollable, to the depth of my soul sobbing emanated from me. Regardless of the unavoidability. Inevitability be damned! When your life progresses at a regular clip. When you have incorporated the hurdles, the potholes, all the different obstacles, like some crazy video game, dodging and weaving the many obstructions in your life, even adapti...

Paul I believe it has begun. My brave brother is slowly slipping away. I am at his house, I came last night after struggling with the thought of watching him die. My mind couldn't get around it, initially. I couldn't sit back and watch him suffocating, gasping for breath. But if nothing else, I had to be here for my mom, sister in law, niece, nephew and brothers. If nothing else. It doesn't matter how much you prepare for this sort of thing, no matter the inevitability, it is a physical electrical shock to the body to know that a loved one, a precious loved one, is leaving this place. I know where he's going. I know I'll see him again. He's not suffering. But my heart is broken into a thousand little pieces that I will never quite put back together again.

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeett Oooouuuuuuuut It is time. With the bombing of such a hugely important mosque and the repercussions following, every indication points to us, yup, cuttin’ and runnin’. We cannot make this work. There’s no need to say that we shouldn’t have been there in the first place, because we are there now. But it is time to leave Iraq. We have pretended for long enough that we understand the Middle Eastern culture and faith. Civil war is imminent. Bring our kids back NOW NOW NOW! Momma don’t let yer babies grow up… Without you. A lot of “hoopla” about educated women leaving their careers to be moms. Silence. I’m not sure I understand the problem. I guess because I felt the absolute fundamental drive to not let anyone else raise my boys and wanted to ensure that I savored every conceivable ounce of joy in the experience of being with them, I don’t really understand why anyone would have a problem with this choice. It is, once again, a woman’s right to choose. If you want a career ...

I am so annoyed. Cody came home yesterday and told me that he was with his broadcasting class in the computer room. Another student was sitting a couple of computers away. Cody tossed him a pencil, the teacher sees and sends him to the AP's office. He gets Saturday detention. Let's just take a quick gander at the "discipline" form that was sent to my house that I received today. "Cody stood up and threw a SHARPENED pencil AT another student across the room (two computers away) over the heads of the three students." It sounds like a knife. It sounds like an assault. It actually said across the room and immediately following stated - two computers away. These computers are stationed right next to each other, maximizing space. So "across the room" was in fact, maybe, four feet. This is exactly the kind of distortion of reality that the schools paint of events involving boys. There's no opportunity to discuss what happened, the teacher & AP gen...

What A Bizarre Week! I feel like I’m living in an alternate universe. All this “war of terror”, “keep our country safe”, “we’re listening for your protection!”, “getting them there so we don’t have to get them here”, “weak on terror”, “staying the course”. And then the ports. And the promise of a veto if anyone sends out legislation so that it can be thoroughly investigated. What? What the heck? This is that “trust us” hymn this administration has been humming since it took office. Sooooooooo. Ok. Let’s see. You’re ok if you have money and a capital interest in our country? Regardless of where you’re from? Even if your affiliates are tied to the actual terrorist attack on 9/11? I simply do not get it. What did I hear bush say yesterday? That it’s pretty discriminatory to not allow a corporation to conduct business in our country just because of where it is located. There’s also the little bitty tiny fact that Secretary John Snow , whose agency heads the federal panel that signed off o...

I wonder what the Vegas odds are on Halliburton getting the port security contracts?

A Few Musings... Living in the post 9/11 era…the era of homeland security… of the war of fear….suicide bombers….we have made the most crafty and cunning of decisions. Have the Arabs guard our ports! Slush Lockjaw claimed that they won’t blow up their own stuff, what sane property owner does that? Crazy. Crazy like a fox! That’s right rush! You tell’em. I got an even better idea. Let’s sell it all! That’s it! We can sell everything the ports, the statues, the national parks, heck, we can sell the borders off by the foot! - kind of like a rummage sale. We’ll be able to pay a fraction of a day’s interest on all the money we owe everyone and we can rest with our never ending brilliance of incorporating all the countries we have insulted, invaded, harassed, whose citizens we have swept up, imprisoned and tortured into our melting pot of a country. They can guard our stuff from…well, from them. It’s the same sort of monitoring we have now in Washington, with everyone policing themselves. Th...

China Keeps Fur Its Dirty Little Secret If you don’t know, then you need to. Cats and dogs, millions of them are being killed for their fur. The items that contain the fur will not identify the product as belonging to a domesticated animal. It will either have some exotic non-name (no not “liger” but close) or not even be listed at all. If it’s under, I think, 10% of the garment, it does not need to listed. Look for the fabric content and find what the “trim” is made of. If it’s real animal, then it is probably cat or dog fur imported from China. Let’s be honest for a moment. Fur. I mean, seriously. The coat of another being. What is so hard to understand about the cruelty in this? Honestly. Most of these animals are skinned alive. So you can what? Feel the luxuriousness of another animal’s skin? So that you can live a life of seeming opulence? Exactly how does the carcass of a tortured animal draped across your shoulders connote higher learning and societal augmentation? Didn’t the go...

Wakey, Wakey. Anything Happen While We Were Asleep? I wonder what will make the difference. When action will finally become a reality. You can only deny reality for so long. For as long as no one is affected, I suppose. But when the truth becomes so stark, the denial of reality bleeds into insanity. You can call it el nino. You can dismiss with a flick of the wrist and a lofty, seemingly “scientific” evaluation that sounds good. But the truth is upon us. We are experiencing global warming. Now that we have seen a hurricane season like no other, a twistedly bizarre winter, the absolute certainty that the 2 mile thick ice in Greenland is melting at twice the rate that was predicted we can now say – gosh. Our actions do have an effect. Reducing or eliminating all these emission standards and pollution controls was probably, yup, probably not such a great idea. Billy Bob got rich, but gee you can’t breath while driving through factory farming areas because of the pollution. Polar bears are...

Insight You know my injured finger is "boy" cool if my son took a picture of it with his phone. He did. It is.

W ell, it seems that I should have introduced the term "klutz" or "accident prone" to the title as I have yet again managed to cripple myself. Evil recliner. Innocent pointer finger. Not pretty. Black/blue left pointer, revoltingly cracked fingernail. So once again, it's slow going. Plus, I went up to my brother's house to help my mom with her anniversary gift to my bro and his wife. We planted colorful flowers in pots on the patio. Perfect gift, really, adding beautiful vibrant plants on a gray, cold, winter day. I find it absolutely devastating seeing him like this. I want to be stronger, more self-less, more loving. I know I will regret it, not seeing him as much as possible now, and I know it must hurt him that I don't go more often. That's truly the hardest part, I think. Knowingly hurting someone you love because of your own need to self-protect. I find that I am in a hundred different pieces when I get home and it seems to last such a long ti...

New EPA Deal Lets Factory Farms Pollute Air without Restriction The EPA is ignoring public opposition and approving a bush administration proposal that allows factory farms to freely violate any and all clean air standards for the next four years , while forgiving these same companies from paying massive fines for past air pollution violations . In exchange for the freedom to pollute without any restrictions, the deal simply requires that factory farms agree to allow the EPA to monitor their air pollution . The deal will forgive more than 6,700 factory farms from having to pay fines of up to $27,500 per day for violating clean air standards in the past or over the next four years . The EPA claims this arrangement is needed in order to gather data necessary to further refine air emissions regulations for egg, chicken, turkey, dairy and hog industries. According to the EPA's rule , the main goal of this deal is to "reduce air pollution." Bush's "Dirty Air" a...

Bush Administration Details Billion Dollar Plan for Public Land Sales By Matthew Daly The Associated Press Washington - The Bush administration on Friday detailed its proposal to sell more than 300,000 acres of national forests and other public land to help pay for rural schools in 41 states. The land sales, ranging from less than an acre to more than 1,000 acres, could total more than $1 billion and would be the largest sale of forest land in decades. Western lawmakers immediately objected, saying the short-term gains would be offset by the permanentt loss of public lands. Congress would have to approve the sales, and has rejected similar proposals in recent years. Forest Service officials say the sales are needed to raise $800 million over the next five years to pay for schools and roads in rural counties hurt by logging cutbacks on federal land. The Bureau of Land Management has said it also plans to sell federal lands to raise an estimated $250 million over five years. Dave A...

Continued Musings - More Photos Well, I went and looked at the most recent photos ( http://smh.com.au/photogallery/2006/02/15/1139890768970.html ) It sickens me that we are involved in this. My take is, what if we weren't involved? What if we were a completely disengaged party observing from the outside? What if it were German or Israeli or Pakistani troops doing this? Would our feelings change? We are being defined by this sort of thing. Hamas Revisited I heard on NPR that the previous leaders in Palestine did nothing to build up the infrastructure - hospitals, schools, etc. - and that Hamas has already started working on these societal requirements. Damn terrorists. One of their spokespeople said that they didn't want to destroy Israel, they just wanted to end the occupation. Not exactly what I'm hearing out of the mouth of Mr. Sean Insanity. I still say, wait and see. Most people scream and yell and end up taking drastic action because no one in power is listening. Now t...

National security whistle-blowers allege retaliation By JAMES ROSEN, McClatchy Washington Bureau WASHINGTON (SH) - Military and intelligence officers told spellbound lawmakers Tuesday that their careers had been ruined by superiors because they refused to lie about Able Danger, Abu Ghraib and other national security controversies. Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer, wearing a crisp olive Army uniform with the Bronze Star and other awards, delivered his first public testimony about his central role in Able Danger, a Pentagon computer data-mining program set up long before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks to infiltrate the al-Qaeda terrorist network. Shaffer told a House Government Reform subcommittee that he and other intelligence officers and contractors working on the top-secret program code-named "Able Danger" had identified Mohammed Atta, ringleader of the Sept. 11 attacks, but were prevented from passing their findings to the FBI. "I became a whistleblower not out of choice, but ou...

Bus-ted! Yow! You know for a FACT that there are some seriously pissed off people in the white house right about now. I can’t believe that anything infuriates this administration more than leaks. Actually, I can rest assured based on history that this admin gets very aggravated by what they see as “disloyalty”. So I can only imagine how ballistic some are over the whole leakage of the Israel-US effort to undermine Hamas using money (shock horror) or rather the lack thereof, sending Palestine into poverty, forcing another election that would reinstate Fatah. They say Hamas will be given a choice: recognize Israel's right to exist, renounce violence and accept previous Palestinian-Israeli agreements — as called for by the United Nations and the West — or face isolation and collapse. Oh dear. What do you think will be the result of all this? Golly. The US and Israel are telling us, says the Palestinian populace, what to do (hand wring, hand wring). We better comply or or . Or what? D...

Understanding Boys….the saga continues Cody came up to me yesterday while I was at the school selling popcorn (athletic department fundraiser). He said that two boys had been written up for wearing tight pants to school. They had been forced to change clothes. Huh? Hi Mrs. Hornsby – I look over and it’s a group of about six girls who are saying hi to me in order to attract Cody’s eye to them. They are all in wetsuit tight jeans. Hmmm. Boys, it turns out, cannot wear “excessively baggy pants”. They also cannot wear “excessively tight pants”. Girls, however, can wear either. Can you say “discrimination”? Oh. I can. I told Cody that he had my permission to wear tight pants to school the next day in protest. He was to call me the minute someone said anything and/or he was written up. He told me that just the threat of calling me would probably make them back off. Huh. I can’t imagine why that is. Ok. Maybe I can. But seriously! What the heck? This is exactly what I am talking about! This s...

Gitmo - Refusing to Shutterdown! I want to know how we justify this. Sure there is the war on nightmares, oh sorry, fear, goshdarnit, terror. There is also the blanket label of “enemy combatants” and “terrorists”. And of course no information is being released. There is yet another report, this one being the UN report that is a direct result of 18 months of investigation. This administration wouldn’t allow access to the prisoners but offered the press tour of the facility which the UN declined. The standard refrain used in response to the illegal wiretaps has been if you don’t have anything to hide, if you aren’t conversing with terrorists then you have nothing to worry about. Well, then, why not let the Red Cross, Amnesty International, the UN and any other legitimate agency or individual into Gitmo to talk to these guys? Why the refusal? Sure. We don’t want people wandering in and out, journalists or others that might give away critical information. But something is amiss. For over f...

No......too easy I won't say anything about the whole cheney shooting his pal this weekend thing except now the guy knows how it feels to be a quail.

The Cartoon that launched a thousand Protests Ah. The cartoon. The dreaded Danish cartoon. The Danes are always stirring things up. Anyway, here's my long awaited perspective. You have a splinter. That splinter gets infected. Now, every single brush of motion in the vicinity causes wincing and pain. You can get punched in the arm, no big deal. But someone passes you in the street and their windbreaker glides over the affected area, and you are in excruciating pain. Are you exaggerated in your response? Are you being incited to howl in pain? Muslims are feeling just a tad bit persecuted. If you go to any website that favors Islam or Muslims, you will be privvy to another world. I don't want to become any more of a target for a wiretap than I already am, but I do, occassionally peek at the "other" side. Should you venture into this realm, be prepared, you will see sights that will sicken you. It is mostly children and women. Pictures. Recent pictures of babies with th...