Putting Things in Perspective
I'm afraid I'm a bit down today. I had been on a pretty good roll, exercise-wise. I had visions of wearing a swimsuit without self-consciousness, feeling less jiggly overall. I was doing a pretty rigorous workout in the morning and taking a class in the evening - like Latin Impact (rocked), spin (also rocked), Hip Hop (would have rocked but for the very self-involved white girls in the front row who considered themselves authorities in all things rap & hiphop, constantly checking their look in the mirror pulling down their fly hip hop pants to expose equally cool rap panties. Yo.). I don't think there is anything more annoying than white people who think that through wearing the gear and listening to the music of black people have somehow absorbed the inherent coolness that oozes from black people's pores. No, pursing your lips and crossing your arms in front of you, sweetie, does not make you black. Sor-ry.
But my age managed to catch up with me on my break neck speed to catch my youth, and again my knees betray me. Damn you, knees, damn you! I am back in this blasted ankle to top of thigh contraption that keeps my leg straight and makes me feel like I should have a parrot on my shoulder. Of course, I am seeing everything I should be doing at the same time seeing my body returning to that "oh so desirable" meltly look. So delightful. The boys decided to cheer me up last night and surprised me with a game night. They know I love games. They got me vegan stuff like junior mints, vanilla oreos, and these yummy chocolate covered almonds. And popcorn. It was good.
It was kind and it did ward off the blues for a while. I am not a good inactive person. I don't sit well. I would like to say that it's because my brother is forced to be that way, therefore I will make the most of each second. However, that would be a bald-faced lie. I just enjoy moving.
I was feeling terribly sorry for myself. Then I watched a recorded version of InJustice. Is it me or are shows beginning to reflect the needs of our society? Why are there so many people languishing in prison? I also watched a movie about a woman in South Africa. I am not black but for one reason, South Africa is so dear to me. I haven't been there, but I did organize protests etc. against Apartheid in the 80's. Now I seen the Bay and the other "secret" prisons and it makes me think of the underbelly of our society. I see people in jail with no skills being taught, no education, no rehab and I think we have progressed one second in a thousand years. Why do we need studies that prove what common sense tells us? Why do we isolate social beings and then thrust them back into society with the expectation of them beating every conceivable odd and succeeding when I know for a fact that I would fail. It's like those ridiculous roadside tests where you stand on one foot, eyes closed with your head thrown back and try to touch your nose. Set up to fail. Kind of like our kids. Sorry. Kind of like our below middle class kids. Josh said to me "why do they offer rich people the best schools?" Golly Josh I don't know. To me it's like giving a child a hundred calories a day and expecting him to keep up physically and mentally with his peers on 1200 calories. Put a gallon of gas in a car and expect it to go as far as a car with a full tank. Stu-pid. All these people arguing and carrying on, yet one more kid drops out. One more parent can't feed her child on her freakin' minimum wage job. One more family shivers. One more parent has to bring himself to go to work with the burden on his back that he cannot sustain his family.
I watched (I'm doing a lot of watching) of Brian Williams "In His Own Words" about the days in New Orleans after Katrina. Riveting. And Brian is a good guy. Empathetic. You can stand around pointing fingers all day, but what Katrina did was rip away the cover. It ripped away the walls and roof of the slaughterhouse. It tore away the walls of the prisons. It exposed what no one in this country wants to see. The ugly inequality and stench of disception in this country. Just because you ignore a problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because you refuse to look at something does not make it invisible. Thank God the reporters were there to document this rip. And how pathetic that the very victims of this disaster suddenly had to take the blame. How simple to sit on your couch with you A/C and water and food and shelter and point an accusing finger at people who were forced to watch as everything they owned washed away, forced to defecate where they stood, reuse diapers, watch helplessly as people died before them. At what point would your humanity and sensibility fall by the wayside? When you had to lay your head on a pillow soaked in other people's urine, when you had no place to be private and take care of bodily functions, when you went another day without water, when you were turned away from yet another place - at gunpoint when you had no place to go? Easy to point the finger when it's not you, but I can readily admit that I would have been in that Walmart or Shop n Save grabbing anything I could have in order to have something with which to barter for a ride out of this cesspool, water, food, anything to just be able to live.
I realize that my stupid treasonous knee is nothing compared to the lot others have been given. Yes it is a hinderance and it is painful. But I am not rooted to a chair unable to move forever, I am not incarcerated unjustly and I am not being blamed for my reactions during a terrible disaster. Compared to that it might as well be a hangnail. I can live happily with this hangnail.