Alito-gator Tears

I've listened to quite a bit of the Alito hearings. On the radio. So I did miss the drama of Alito's wife, shedding a tear at the idea of anyone thinking (sniff, sniff) that her husband could be a biggot (sob). Frankly, I have listened to as much as I could stomach. I find it difficult to listen to questions being asked and someone doing that crazy, dislocating of the ankle Irish dancing in response. Can you answer the flippin' question? In ten words or less? Does every single response have to be a second year law school lecture? I want to tear something up when I hear this sort of crap. This is why nothing gets solved. This is why politicians bug the crap out of me. Answer the question! Answer the question! Arrrrgghh!
Ok. Better now.

You joined an alumni group that opposes the admission of minorities and women into Princeton...what do you have to say about that, Sammy?
I just wanted to be on their softball team.
Yah. Well. What about the fact that these guys uniforms said "white is right", doesn't that seem a bit, I don't know, racist?
They needed a left fielder.
Ok. Hmmm. Didn't the burning cross and noose in the dugout put you off?
I like softball. It's fun.

They get him to start down a path and suddenly they hit a wall.

You've said in the past that you do not agree with one man one vote, Samson, what do you think of that?
One man one vote. Did I say that?
You said that you didn't think the constitution allowed for that.
Did I?
Yes. Do you want to see...
No comment.
What?
Can't comment. Landshark.

I am sorry Mrs. Alito's feeling got hurt. To be honest, if my husband was there, I would probably be in a holding cell in the back because the second anyone started to question the integrity o'my man, I would fly over the table and violently grasp the neck of that senator and say through gritted teeth "wadidyasaybuddy?" They don't like that. I can relate to being protective. But when your husband repeatedly finds for the state, the corporation, the police, for the institutions and not the individual then you can pretty much guarantee that some people won't take too kindly to that, ma'am. When he joins an organization that wants to ban the admission of women and minorities, it's gonna look a tad bit racist and sexist. I just think, in future, when she starts feeling emotional, she should get into her mind the image of a ten year old girl being strip searched by the police without a warrant, and know that her husband thought that was A-OK.
Looking forward to future decisions from this fine specimen.