Volunteer Blues Musings
Below is an email exchange between me and a parent, as well as the head coach. I am an assistant coach for my son's under fourteen recreational soccer team. The head coach was out of town for the first month of the season, so I lead until he came back.
You might ask, why is this here? I guess, because I am still really pissed off about it. It is probably one of the major reasons that people don't step up to volunteer. You do everything you can, you take on responsibility, and then you get sniper fire from someone that doesn't volunteer, someone who points out problems and offers no solution. I have to admit, I kind of knew that he wasn't volunteering to help out, but I wanted to point out that he was asking people who already shouldered the greater weight of responsibility for the team to do more, while offering nothing. He is from Spain, but his tone and message are pretty evident to me.
-----Original Message-----
From: AV
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 1:35 PM
To: PBH
Cc: FP
Subject: CLAIM
Penny:
Several times the same claims arrive to me. It seems that the boys are not playing the same time everybody. From the last 3 - 4 games, I have seen You have a strong preference for some players. As far as I know, these are Recreational games, so everybody must play at least the same time. We can win some games, others not. We can control this time with a small paper list and a watch, etc. Hope you can resolve very easy this issue.
I am giving a copy of this note to the other coachs.
Regards,
AV
My Response:
From: PBH
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 3:16 PM
To: AV
Cc: JJ; FP
Subject: RE: CLAIM
AV
I was responsible for the placement of players in games while our head coach, JJ, was out of the country. However, since his return, he has taken the lead in regards to player time and substitutions, although he asks my opinion at times. I find it odd that you have not included him in this email. But that's ok, he's included in this one. I am, however, extremely glad that you have stepped up and volunteered to track the time that each player is on the field during all the games. I cannot tell you what a tremendous help this will be to the coaching staff, as we are doing our best, as unpaid volunteers, to coach the game, make substitutions, offer strategy, etc. It would probably be best if you come to our side of the field, with your paper list and watch, so that you can keep us apprised of time allocation. Knowing that you will be attending to this matter will be a huge relief, as we are doing our collective best to ensure that all players are getting equal time. Again, thank you so much for stepping up.
PBH
The Head Coach’s response:
From JJ
Alfredo, you are correct about the time allocation. For the last two weeks, we have played our strongest opponent, so I was using substitutions to assure success. Against weaker opponents, the playing times are different. The forwards are the players that are going to be most affected by my strategy. We have several players that can play that position well, so my method has been to try to rotate those players a lot so that we have fresh players up front. The boys that are willing to stay in defense or goalkeeper will get more playing time since those positions are less desirable and against a couple of our opponents, not very active positions. Sometimes, I'm not able to substitute as soon as I would like to because the ball stays in play and the opportunity to change players does not arise. With 18 players, it is a challenge to keep the playing times equal, but I agree with you that it is important to try. Everybody paid the same amount to be on the team and are therefore entitled to their share of playing time. Thanks for volunteering to help us keep up with these statistics. I will make up a chart with the boys names and supply a stop watch for this purpose.
Regards,
JJ
Response from disgruntled parent:
From: AV
Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2006 12:12 PM
To: JJ;PBH
Cc: FP
Subject: RE: CLAIM
Thank you Jim for your answer. It is hard to play with 18 players, yes of course. What we can not accept are the PREFERENCES with someplayers. If there are STARS in the team who can play all positions, not combining the ball, etc, let me know. The rest about timing, paper and watches are "only excuses". I think there are 3 or 4 active volunteers. I do not have the proper time for voluteer with your team. If I have that time, long time ago I would be an assistance, etc. I have 3 kids playing every saturday so we share the time between 3 fields. Well, thanks again, and sorry for not including you in my first e-mail. -AV
From: PBH
Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2006 2:18 PM
To: AV
Subject: RE: CLAIM
AV
I want you, for a moment to see how this looks to me. ONE team. TWENTY males, ONE female. 18 male players, 1 male head coach, 1 male assistant coach , 1 female assistant coach. And you direct your original accusation at me. How do you think I should take that, AV?
Let's also look at what you are saying. You believe that there is preferential treatment going on towards individual players. Your accusation is non-specific (you do not state which players, you don't have actual playing time denoted anywhere), and insinuates that you are not alone in your concerns with the use of "we" (also non-specific).
Now if there are several of you, I would think that you would have several parents that would be willing to solve this problem. Criticizing those that have volunteered to lead and requesting that they take on MORE obligations in addition to all the responsibilities they already have seems counter-productive to me. Why not state the problem and say that you have several parents that would be willing to rotate the responsibility of tracking player time for us during the games, so that we wouldn't have to worry about it? When my son played baseball, the "stat" book was given to a parent - not always the same one, but it rotated throughout the roster. Perhaps, with your limited time, you can ask around to see if anyone would be interested in doing this.
It seems to me that you want to criticize via email, because you are unwilling to address this in person. It seems that a lot more information would be better exchanged if this were done in person instead of being written. For instance, are you aware that one of the things we have on the team - that all the players know about - is that if you volunteer to play goalie, you get to play the majority of the game? The goalie position is the least desired position on this team. If we don't have an incentive, we don't have a happy goalie. But if a player is willing to volunteer they get rewarded. Is that unfair to you? Were you aware that this existed? Are you aware that some players aren't feeling well before or during a game? Are you aware that we have players that were fasting from sunrise to sundown during Ramadan and we were concerned about their physical welfare? Are you aware that we have a variety of injuries on the team - some healed, some new, some recurring? Are you aware of the countless other things that cause us to substitute on the field? Not one of them has to do with us - the coaching staff. It is all about the boys.
You see, AV, I believe that volunteering for 3 hours during the week and up to 2 hours on the weekend - 8 hours for the weekend of the tournament, that this would be considered enough of a commitment for ONE parent when there are over 36 total parents for this one team. You mention 3 or 4 active volunteers...would that be the three parents that stepped up to coach and the team mom? Don't you think adding another obligation - watching seconds and minutes on a clock throughout a game, instead of watching the team dynamic, passing, strategy possibilities, goals, technical points that are to be coached at the next practice, ensuring that we can be on top of the emotional status of each player as well as the physical, is enough work for the coaches?
I was one of the parents that, yes, did pay the same amount of money as everyone else, but I stepped up and committed to not only 5 hours of "on the field" leadership but also countless hours keeping everyone informed, creating rosters so that you all can contact each other should there be a problem, and a player preference sheet. At the beginning of the season I asked all the boys to fill out a form that said which position they wanted to play, if they would play goal, if they were left footed etc. I then compiled all this information from all 18 boys and created a sheet that the coaches could use to ensure that we play the boys where they want to play. When your wife emailed me about AV Jr. losing his ball at practice, I went back out to the field that night and with my headlights combed the tall grass to see if I could find it. I have called parents to see if they need me to pick up their child for practice. I have comforted, soothe, guided, encouraged, and engaged with each and every child on this team. I have talked to individual parents, gladly, about issues or concerns they have. I have talked to them on the phone and in person. So, I believe, maybe wrongly, that I have made every effort to honor the commitment of assistant coach. I have shown up with new, interesting and challenging drills for an hour and a half with 18 teenage boys. I have shown up for all the games even though I have another child that is engaged in other time-consuming activities. I have sat with a player for over half an hour until his parent came to pick him up after practice, even though I have other obligations. I believe that I have, at the very least, honored the minimum effort that was required for a position that I am volunteering my time for.
I'll be honest with you, AV. I have no intention of sitting on the sideline filling out a time sheet for this team. I will not do it. I want to watch the game. I want to ensure that the boys are safe, that physically they are ok, that emotionally they are doing well, that rules are being followed, that technical questions are being answered, that I am resource for the boys to use if they need it. I also have to say, that I am insulted by your commentary. If you had come to me directly, instead of through the email, if you had addressed this by citing a problem but offering solutions, if you had made an effort to address all of the coaches, instead of the only female on the team, I would have been a lot less insulted.
But you didn't. And now I wonder if you have completely killed any desire I have to continue volunteering for this team.
Cheers,
PBH
Below is an email exchange between me and a parent, as well as the head coach. I am an assistant coach for my son's under fourteen recreational soccer team. The head coach was out of town for the first month of the season, so I lead until he came back.
You might ask, why is this here? I guess, because I am still really pissed off about it. It is probably one of the major reasons that people don't step up to volunteer. You do everything you can, you take on responsibility, and then you get sniper fire from someone that doesn't volunteer, someone who points out problems and offers no solution. I have to admit, I kind of knew that he wasn't volunteering to help out, but I wanted to point out that he was asking people who already shouldered the greater weight of responsibility for the team to do more, while offering nothing. He is from Spain, but his tone and message are pretty evident to me.
-----Original Message-----
From: AV
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 1:35 PM
To: PBH
Cc: FP
Subject: CLAIM
Penny:
Several times the same claims arrive to me. It seems that the boys are not playing the same time everybody. From the last 3 - 4 games, I have seen You have a strong preference for some players. As far as I know, these are Recreational games, so everybody must play at least the same time. We can win some games, others not. We can control this time with a small paper list and a watch, etc. Hope you can resolve very easy this issue.
I am giving a copy of this note to the other coachs.
Regards,
AV
My Response:
From: PBH
Sent: Saturday, October 21, 2006 3:16 PM
To: AV
Cc: JJ; FP
Subject: RE: CLAIM
AV
I was responsible for the placement of players in games while our head coach, JJ, was out of the country. However, since his return, he has taken the lead in regards to player time and substitutions, although he asks my opinion at times. I find it odd that you have not included him in this email. But that's ok, he's included in this one. I am, however, extremely glad that you have stepped up and volunteered to track the time that each player is on the field during all the games. I cannot tell you what a tremendous help this will be to the coaching staff, as we are doing our best, as unpaid volunteers, to coach the game, make substitutions, offer strategy, etc. It would probably be best if you come to our side of the field, with your paper list and watch, so that you can keep us apprised of time allocation. Knowing that you will be attending to this matter will be a huge relief, as we are doing our collective best to ensure that all players are getting equal time. Again, thank you so much for stepping up.
PBH
The Head Coach’s response:
From JJ
Alfredo, you are correct about the time allocation. For the last two weeks, we have played our strongest opponent, so I was using substitutions to assure success. Against weaker opponents, the playing times are different. The forwards are the players that are going to be most affected by my strategy. We have several players that can play that position well, so my method has been to try to rotate those players a lot so that we have fresh players up front. The boys that are willing to stay in defense or goalkeeper will get more playing time since those positions are less desirable and against a couple of our opponents, not very active positions. Sometimes, I'm not able to substitute as soon as I would like to because the ball stays in play and the opportunity to change players does not arise. With 18 players, it is a challenge to keep the playing times equal, but I agree with you that it is important to try. Everybody paid the same amount to be on the team and are therefore entitled to their share of playing time. Thanks for volunteering to help us keep up with these statistics. I will make up a chart with the boys names and supply a stop watch for this purpose.
Regards,
JJ
Response from disgruntled parent:
From: AV
Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2006 12:12 PM
To: JJ;PBH
Cc: FP
Subject: RE: CLAIM
Thank you Jim for your answer. It is hard to play with 18 players, yes of course. What we can not accept are the PREFERENCES with someplayers. If there are STARS in the team who can play all positions, not combining the ball, etc, let me know. The rest about timing, paper and watches are "only excuses". I think there are 3 or 4 active volunteers. I do not have the proper time for voluteer with your team. If I have that time, long time ago I would be an assistance, etc. I have 3 kids playing every saturday so we share the time between 3 fields. Well, thanks again, and sorry for not including you in my first e-mail. -AV
From: PBH
Sent: Sunday, October 22, 2006 2:18 PM
To: AV
Subject: RE: CLAIM
AV
I want you, for a moment to see how this looks to me. ONE team. TWENTY males, ONE female. 18 male players, 1 male head coach, 1 male assistant coach , 1 female assistant coach. And you direct your original accusation at me. How do you think I should take that, AV?
Let's also look at what you are saying. You believe that there is preferential treatment going on towards individual players. Your accusation is non-specific (you do not state which players, you don't have actual playing time denoted anywhere), and insinuates that you are not alone in your concerns with the use of "we" (also non-specific).
Now if there are several of you, I would think that you would have several parents that would be willing to solve this problem. Criticizing those that have volunteered to lead and requesting that they take on MORE obligations in addition to all the responsibilities they already have seems counter-productive to me. Why not state the problem and say that you have several parents that would be willing to rotate the responsibility of tracking player time for us during the games, so that we wouldn't have to worry about it? When my son played baseball, the "stat" book was given to a parent - not always the same one, but it rotated throughout the roster. Perhaps, with your limited time, you can ask around to see if anyone would be interested in doing this.
It seems to me that you want to criticize via email, because you are unwilling to address this in person. It seems that a lot more information would be better exchanged if this were done in person instead of being written. For instance, are you aware that one of the things we have on the team - that all the players know about - is that if you volunteer to play goalie, you get to play the majority of the game? The goalie position is the least desired position on this team. If we don't have an incentive, we don't have a happy goalie. But if a player is willing to volunteer they get rewarded. Is that unfair to you? Were you aware that this existed? Are you aware that some players aren't feeling well before or during a game? Are you aware that we have players that were fasting from sunrise to sundown during Ramadan and we were concerned about their physical welfare? Are you aware that we have a variety of injuries on the team - some healed, some new, some recurring? Are you aware of the countless other things that cause us to substitute on the field? Not one of them has to do with us - the coaching staff. It is all about the boys.
You see, AV, I believe that volunteering for 3 hours during the week and up to 2 hours on the weekend - 8 hours for the weekend of the tournament, that this would be considered enough of a commitment for ONE parent when there are over 36 total parents for this one team. You mention 3 or 4 active volunteers...would that be the three parents that stepped up to coach and the team mom? Don't you think adding another obligation - watching seconds and minutes on a clock throughout a game, instead of watching the team dynamic, passing, strategy possibilities, goals, technical points that are to be coached at the next practice, ensuring that we can be on top of the emotional status of each player as well as the physical, is enough work for the coaches?
I was one of the parents that, yes, did pay the same amount of money as everyone else, but I stepped up and committed to not only 5 hours of "on the field" leadership but also countless hours keeping everyone informed, creating rosters so that you all can contact each other should there be a problem, and a player preference sheet. At the beginning of the season I asked all the boys to fill out a form that said which position they wanted to play, if they would play goal, if they were left footed etc. I then compiled all this information from all 18 boys and created a sheet that the coaches could use to ensure that we play the boys where they want to play. When your wife emailed me about AV Jr. losing his ball at practice, I went back out to the field that night and with my headlights combed the tall grass to see if I could find it. I have called parents to see if they need me to pick up their child for practice. I have comforted, soothe, guided, encouraged, and engaged with each and every child on this team. I have talked to individual parents, gladly, about issues or concerns they have. I have talked to them on the phone and in person. So, I believe, maybe wrongly, that I have made every effort to honor the commitment of assistant coach. I have shown up with new, interesting and challenging drills for an hour and a half with 18 teenage boys. I have shown up for all the games even though I have another child that is engaged in other time-consuming activities. I have sat with a player for over half an hour until his parent came to pick him up after practice, even though I have other obligations. I believe that I have, at the very least, honored the minimum effort that was required for a position that I am volunteering my time for.
I'll be honest with you, AV. I have no intention of sitting on the sideline filling out a time sheet for this team. I will not do it. I want to watch the game. I want to ensure that the boys are safe, that physically they are ok, that emotionally they are doing well, that rules are being followed, that technical questions are being answered, that I am resource for the boys to use if they need it. I also have to say, that I am insulted by your commentary. If you had come to me directly, instead of through the email, if you had addressed this by citing a problem but offering solutions, if you had made an effort to address all of the coaches, instead of the only female on the team, I would have been a lot less insulted.
But you didn't. And now I wonder if you have completely killed any desire I have to continue volunteering for this team.
Cheers,
PBH
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